Tragedy

I cried last night watching the news, which is unusual. I think sometimes I’ve become desensitized and then I hear about the violent massacre of children and my heart breaks and it’s proof I still have one.

I’m glad that I’m at middle age, entering into the second half of my life. I’m glad that I had a good childhood and that I have happy memories. This world that we live in right now is so fucked up and I feel awful for the people that only know this reality.

I suppose this is how my parents felt as I grew up. Maybe they thought the world was a dumpster fire then too. Somehow, I think that even if that’s true, things are currently so, so much worse. Maybe my generation just laid down the framework for this next phase.

I didn’t even get a news alert on my phone yesterday. I happened to turn the news on, which I rarely do, but this tragedy wasn’t enough to warrant a ping.

So many families saw their worlds collapse yesterday and mere weeks from now, our collective society will have either moved past it, or politicized it to the extent that no one is thinking about the human beings anymore, in favor of whatever they think the government is trying to take away from them that is somehow more important than a second grader’s life.

I’m so, so tired of it. It makes me sick. It feels like it all just needs to burn to the fucking ground so we can start over clean. Shit is broken, y’all.