I fully intended to work out this morning but woke up to my phone telling me that a bunch of my passwords had been compromised in a data breach, so I spent the morning dealing with that. Fucking criminals. Get a real job. Anyhow, I think that might have just put me in a foul headspace because I have been in a mood ever since and I can’t seem to shake it, so I figured I’d come here and bitch about things to see if that makes me feel better.
I haven’t complained about my dad in a while, not because he is any less annoying, but because it’s the same shit and it seems like a nasty thing to do when I do actually love the guy. I’m making an exception today because otherwise I might scream. He’s still deeply negative, which is hard energy to be around, but he leaves less and less so I get very little respite from it. Furthermore, the time he’s spending at the house is no longer partially contained in his room. Nope. His new routine is as follows:
- wake up, mutter about something, pee, take some pills, mutter some more
- make your way out to the kitchen for breakfast. Disregard anyone who might already be in the kitchen. Take up as much space as possible, but assure them they aren’t in your way
- make multiple trips, transporting each item singularly on seat of your walker to the TV tray
- complain
- settle loudly onto edge of couch
- turn on Murder She Wrote or Hogan’s Heroes
- complain
- eat cereal with as much violent spoon clanging as possible
- exclaim angrily about god damned commercials
- finish cereal and settle back loudly, signaling to everyone that you are finished
- wait for someone to get cereal bowl then insist that you were gonna take it to the kitchen
- tell a story about a clickbait headline you ‘read’ – the longer the better, ignore any social cues that might indicate your audience is disinterested
- argue with any position they take on the matter, even if it is in agreement with your own. Say NO. A lot.
- Move from the couch to the recliner.
- stay there until someone mentions lunch – complain as much as possible, mutter stuff under your breath every time someone goes by so they will talk to you, even if they are in the middle of housework or are otherwise engaged with responsibility
- refuse to have an actual conversation, instead battering them with more click bait info or detailed schema information about guns or flashlights
- move to the couch to be waited on for lunch. Eat. Complain. Sit back to signal completion.
- Once dishes are removed, move back to the recliner.
- Complain.
- Make sure everyone knows at all times what all the cats are doing. if you aren’t sure, ask about it, especially if people seem super busy and uninterested
- Get up from the recliner around 3-4PM for nap.
- Sleep until dinner
- Wait for daughter to bring the meal she has slaved over. Do not say thank you. Complaints are ok. If you need something, do not ask for it directly. All inquires should be oblique and/or passive aggressive. If Emmitt brings the food, be effusively grateful because he just did woman’s work.
- Watch approved TV. Nothing that only Holly or Emmitt might like. If they try it, complain the whole time to ruin it for them.
- feel free to ask for seconds before Holly has had her meal.
- Finish up and sit back for table clearing.
- Demand to be entertained until it’s time for your 8PM eye drops.
- Grudgingly cede the TV from 8-9
- If the TV is not available again at 9, wait until 10, then come out and grumble your disapproval. Wait for people to scatter, then settle into the recliner with your nightcap
- Listen to Murder She Wrote as loud as possible. make random noises that sound like you might have fallen down so Holly will come to check on you
- Laugh and assure Holly you’re fine, but take this chance to grab her with another click bait article story, even though she needs to go to bed to get up hours earlier than you for her job.
I feel a little better. Not great, but I’ll take what I can get.
therightingprompt 