Trying to Relax

I went camping with Emmitt and another couple this weekend. We set up camp around noon Friday and broke it down Sunday morning. We camp in ‘primitive’ locations, meaning that they are just spots in the woods with no electricity or running water. They are not designed for camping, but they are great for it. Unfortunately, lots of people have learned about these cool spots in the woods and now instead of a quiet, relaxing time with nature, people are running their Jeeps and dirt bikes and four-wheelers up & down the trails, scaring away the nature. They are parking said vehicles in these spots and spoiling them with their trash. They are playing their music to drown out the crickets and using their powerful lights to interfere with stargazing.

It is hard to ruin it entirely, because it is still wildly beautiful but it is difficult to sleep when the soundtrack of the forest is some idiot wrecking their bike and another idiot unable to keep his car alarm from going off.

We had trouble from within camp as well since our friends equate relaxation with getting wasted. It’s no fun being a sober person around a drunk one, especially when you are trying to quietly watch the stars and they are fumbling around with a shitty Brookstone telescope to view what is plainly visible to the naked eye. They also set fire to a log filled with ants for NO REASON. We had plenty of firewood and I objected but they did it anyway and I still feel bad about it. Usually, our interaction with the ants involves giving them treats, not murdering them.

Ultimately, I left this camping experience feeling less relaxed and more frustrated than I did when I went out there. Emmitt felt the same and we spent Sunday evening and Monday in foul moods as a result.

We’ve scheduled a do over, for just the two of us in a few weeks. We know we will still have to deal with the traffic and adjacent assholes, but we will be alone in the in between times and there we can be still and quiet, listen to bugs, and poop in the woods.

Shopping Sucks and I Hate It

I had to go shopping for a conference. It was dreadful. I am very bad at shopping and at dressing myself. I am a tomboy type who likes comfort, but when you are in marketing, there is this expectation that you will be pretty and in heels. I’m trying and failing to find a middle ground where I feel like I am dressed appropriately for the occasion while still honoring what I feel most myself in. I know there’s a sweet spot, I just haven’t found it yet.

Part of the problem is that I’m a big, curvy girl. In my day to day life, I can wear fabrics that are stretchy and accommodate my figure without making me look like I’m wearing a tent. Somehow, when I try to find the business translation of this style of dress, everything is way too tight, has a bunch of weird hardware on it, a vile pattern or is made of something that is a few molecules shy of plastic.

I’m not going to go into great detail, but I will tell you that I ended up going to five different stores and spent a lot of money. I then returned a solid three-quarters of what I bought because even the stuff I thought I liked at the store, I hated when I tried it on at home. I ended up with a few pairs of jeans and a variety of black tops. I will add these to my existing pile of jeans and collection of black tops and I have accomplished nothing.

I was happy that the jeans were trouser cut, because I’m tired of skinny, so technically that is new, but I also bought them in a size that was comfortable, which means they will be too big after I wear them for an hour. I also failed to remember that it’s the beginning of summer here in Florida and jeans are pretty much out of the question during the day. The upshot is that these will languish in my closet until the next time I have a thing I need to dress for and they will not be the thing I need and the cycle will repeat itself.

I am blessed that I am able to engage in this exercise, I suppose. I could hate my clothes and NOT be able to buy more clothes I will ultimately hate.

I’ve decided that I’m just gonna start going to the thrift store here and there. At least that way I won’t spend as much money and maybe, just maybe, I can find some things I actually like that actually fit me. I think the key might be not waiting until a few days before I have something to do to panic buy and instead work on developing a wardrobe. Yes. Now to see if I can (or will) actually follow through with this plan.